Libidinal Love

Once upon a time I had an
Earlier object
Then another object joined in


They seemed to just frustrate me
And somehow annoy the
Cathexis I had in them


I suddenly realised that I had
Somehow been duped
Into falling in love with the wrong objects


Fortunately not too much
Damaged had been done
But it seems that the fun had just begun


I understand it as the birth of
My striving for pleasure
That was unbeknown to me


I experienced fluctuations
Of love and hate
Sometimes it was so confusing


I did sometimes rather wonder
Whether this cathexis was better
Off invested in Me


But then I learnt of the concept of
Narcissism and inferiority
If I over did the libidinal withdrawal


I suppose at times it was less
Painful to invest the libidinal
Energy in Me


But then I discovered the
Notion of object-choice
And so the cycle returned


Energy invested in an Other,
Hate, love and fluctuations
Of annoyance


Envy, jealousy, anger
And all the other psychic
Signals all over again


I suppose when I think about it now
The best bit was carthesis :
When the fusion was satisfied.

Copyright (c) Jennifer Hooper 2009

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