Counselling and Creativity : An Approach to Individuation: Only You

Friday, January 07, 2011

Only You - Dating Online

So as we move in to 2011 and some may be thinking about forging new relationships, rekindling old ones or yearning for rich change in existing ones, is it time to focus on happiness. Moreover, how can we make our relationships much richer? Perhaps a good starting point is to not take things personally, because the unconscious is personal, isn’t it, as Freud may have once postulated. So when we remember unpleasantness of things that have happened, are we then returning to things ‘infantile’? In other words, could there now be new insight on the unpleasantness that we can learn from, even if it is just simply a new learning of what we don’t want in a relationship and thus concentrate and act on the change within.

With the internet becoming more and more a part of our lives can we really and truly make contact online in terms of forging richer intimate relationships? There seems to be a notion that this is possible although some may argue not really. My view is how will you know that the picture you have is the person you are communicating with, or the replies you may receive are really from that person and that they are genuine? Only time will tell, however, do check things out thoroughly. It’s only human to want to be in a relationship, it’s innate, isn’t it, that drive towards another person, whether it may be libidinal or psychological.

I wonder what Freud’s take would have been on online dating? Would he have veered off into a new theory of illusions of a ‘digital relationship’ or ‘cyberspace relationship’ and the neurology of its processes, if there is such a relationship?

I am quite intrigued as to whether a person could be drawn into a world of phantasy, oscillating between impulses of whether a person is there on not there, producing dynamics of a drive to keep the contact going in the hope of falling in love, romance or just simply feeding a human need for admiration. Whatever the goal, achieving psychological contact and being understood by another person is a life long persuit of both pleasure and unpleasure, as I once found with this exercise!

Only You - Dating Online

Out of curiosity, I make contact online
With only you
I scan all your pictures to make contact
With only you
I dreamed of contact
With only you
I got excited to make contact
With only you
I seem to have made contact ...

In reality without a real "exchange"
What may be incompatible may only
Be a reflection of human infallibility
With only you.

(c) Jennifer Hooper 2011

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Dear Readers,

You may be wondering when am I going to finish editing my book, I have been talking about. The thing is, it’s such a precious autobiography account of a story I want to share as interesting, educational and practical for lovers of poetry and psychology, it's been quite a special project of creating a kind of a fusion of the two disciplines in a creative way. I had parked the project temporarily to finish my Continuing Professional Development for 2010 and having achieved this, I will now resume my passion for writing. I hope now to be placing the manuscript safetly in the hands of someone who can tell me not just "it's a facinating read..." but will also direct me to a publisher, even though I have not ruled out self-publishing! I guess this takes us onto how my reading went on Freud’s Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality 1905? Fascinating to say the least and I dare say, postulations probably amounting to the impossible to those in the 18th Century who thought it preposterous that a child could ever have a sex life. It seems though,this was the very investigation that Freud started to uncover from both the light and dark side, which may have later influenced him to change some of his theories, maybe to avoid fierce debate and/or being unpopular, who really knows (Freud 1905). Nevertheless, his neurological and later psychotherapy approaches to discovery does seem to lend itself to a linear explanation to how innocent and precious child development is and how much it needs to be preserved for normal and social development. I guess when he talks of “repression”, that is, burying unwanted thoughts or feelings, he does have a point about humans doing this as a coping mechanism when confronted with unpleasant earlier memories.

Moving on to the next point, now will I get to read his full psychological works in 2011! That’s the challenge. However, I have set myself and even more challenging goal for 2011, that of reviewing at a more researched level, Carl G. Jung, probably Freud's earliest contemporary. I am excited already knowing that Carl saw the unconscious as a repository of unpleasantness too and also one for “positivity”. Maybe that’s how we know that all learnings are unconscious. Thank goodness we have the power to change or dispose of unpleasantness by responding differently to problems. A modern practical application, in this recession I would say, is it’s time to be resilient about our pasts and maintain this consistency for our futures, by empowering ourselves now to deal artfully with problems, because we know there will always be a new one, don’t we.

Ladies and gentlemen,

As you think about going into the New Year, you can let go of all the unpleasantness that you may be holding on to, because it’s not worth the energy is it. Yes, time is precious and so are you and you are so much more precious than problems aren’t you. So as you focus here on yourself and what you want to achieve in 2011, it feels good doesn’t it to know that you can fill your unconscious with “positivity”, good learnings, thoughts and feelings to take you through probably another tough year. And you will get through it won’t you, and you will remember that there will always be another problem that you can blow away. So now you will concentrate on becoming skillful, confident and ready to take the challenge to remain mentally strong for yourself and your loved ones for the next 365 days and beyond. Good. Now that you are ready, take a deep breath in and then out and and as you blow out, blow all those old problems out into the universe and enjoy your life. 123,WIDE AWAKE, WIDE AWAKE ... I do have a pet bird I need to chat to now, whilst all the fireworks are going off... (c) Jennifer Hooper 2010. 31.12.10 at midnight.

Counselling and Creativity : An Approach to Individuation

Friday, January 07, 2011

Only You - Dating Online

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