Counselling and Creativity : An Approach to Individuation: Denial (defence mechanism)

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Denial (defence mechanism)

Going back to the topic of Defences, let us take a look at denial. I have been reading a self-help book on How To Be Your Own Therapist. So far it has been an interesting read, although I have reservation on the idea of setting out to make mistakes to learn my lesson. I think that could be the case as part of life, but wonder do we really have to literally ‘put our hand into the fire to know that it will get burnt’?

In my view some things are best left to the application of common sense. However reverting back to the intra-psychic defence of denial. Having made a wrong decision or there being a feeling within that might evoke embarrassment, why not work through the denial. It will not make you everlastingly happy but it could improve the quality of your life in terms of accepting the thought or feeling and not festering in it, sometimes for what seems a lifetime.

What if you have actually carried the thought through and the result was negative even harmful. It is so hard to say “I am sorry” and actually mean it?

Denial, not accepting reality, is just one defence mechanism that the Freuds identified some time ago, however it can be a major impingement on personal growth forging a kind of ‘stuckness’ and avoidance of change. How is this unhealthy? Investigating how it works not just within but without in terms of relationships, perhaps it would be good to consider how helpful is it to deny things consistently to an intimate partner, relative or friend. When something in any relationship is not working activating denial, often becomes deluded with the idea that the thing that is denied will either go away or get better.

It is not going to be easy to stopy denying, expecially if it has become something used excessively to block the truth or reality. To achieve a better state of psychical health and healthier relationships, give the urge to deny a trial to stop it. Why not find out how to enjoy the freedom of real relationships. It might not be half as painful as you think it might be, when compared to others finding out the truth.

Patricia F (2003) Ph.D

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Dear Readers,

You may be wondering when am I going to finish editing my book, I have been talking about. The thing is, it’s such a precious autobiography account of a story I want to share as interesting, educational and practical for lovers of poetry and psychology, it's been quite a special project of creating a kind of a fusion of the two disciplines in a creative way. I had parked the project temporarily to finish my Continuing Professional Development for 2010 and having achieved this, I will now resume my passion for writing. I hope now to be placing the manuscript safetly in the hands of someone who can tell me not just "it's a facinating read..." but will also direct me to a publisher, even though I have not ruled out self-publishing! I guess this takes us onto how my reading went on Freud’s Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality 1905? Fascinating to say the least and I dare say, postulations probably amounting to the impossible to those in the 18th Century who thought it preposterous that a child could ever have a sex life. It seems though,this was the very investigation that Freud started to uncover from both the light and dark side, which may have later influenced him to change some of his theories, maybe to avoid fierce debate and/or being unpopular, who really knows (Freud 1905). Nevertheless, his neurological and later psychotherapy approaches to discovery does seem to lend itself to a linear explanation to how innocent and precious child development is and how much it needs to be preserved for normal and social development. I guess when he talks of “repression”, that is, burying unwanted thoughts or feelings, he does have a point about humans doing this as a coping mechanism when confronted with unpleasant earlier memories.

Moving on to the next point, now will I get to read his full psychological works in 2011! That’s the challenge. However, I have set myself and even more challenging goal for 2011, that of reviewing at a more researched level, Carl G. Jung, probably Freud's earliest contemporary. I am excited already knowing that Carl saw the unconscious as a repository of unpleasantness too and also one for “positivity”. Maybe that’s how we know that all learnings are unconscious. Thank goodness we have the power to change or dispose of unpleasantness by responding differently to problems. A modern practical application, in this recession I would say, is it’s time to be resilient about our pasts and maintain this consistency for our futures, by empowering ourselves now to deal artfully with problems, because we know there will always be a new one, don’t we.

Ladies and gentlemen,

As you think about going into the New Year, you can let go of all the unpleasantness that you may be holding on to, because it’s not worth the energy is it. Yes, time is precious and so are you and you are so much more precious than problems aren’t you. So as you focus here on yourself and what you want to achieve in 2011, it feels good doesn’t it to know that you can fill your unconscious with “positivity”, good learnings, thoughts and feelings to take you through probably another tough year. And you will get through it won’t you, and you will remember that there will always be another problem that you can blow away. So now you will concentrate on becoming skillful, confident and ready to take the challenge to remain mentally strong for yourself and your loved ones for the next 365 days and beyond. Good. Now that you are ready, take a deep breath in and then out and and as you blow out, blow all those old problems out into the universe and enjoy your life. 123,WIDE AWAKE, WIDE AWAKE ... I do have a pet bird I need to chat to now, whilst all the fireworks are going off... (c) Jennifer Hooper 2010. 31.12.10 at midnight.

Counselling and Creativity : An Approach to Individuation

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Denial (defence mechanism)

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