How to Deal With Anxiety - An Interim Guide

You may wonder where had I been for some time.  Well, I stumbled on EAP Counselling; Employer Assistance Programs over 5 years ago .  This is where employers take responsibility for occupational health and wellbeing as a business legal requirement and it may also have an added benefit of reducing litigation costs!

In this time, I have seen the rise in these programs over the internet and businesses in the UK promising to meet service level agreements (SLA's).  I wonder now if much of this is spiriling out of control?  Maybe it's something for me to write about in a book.  It's interesting though how someone thought that they could  tap into an elaborate Affilliate program of hiring niche Private Practitioners not only to drive these calls and cases down but to take on the more complex and possible psychiatric case on,  all under their umbrella of their business of course.   Yes, you could be really taking to someone like me.

Well the poetry is still in me, although I decided to get some all important motivational publications on Mental Health issues out into the world first, starting with How to Deal with Anxiety - An Interim Guide, self published 13 March 2017 on Kindle Book format.

This first publication is written for a number of reasons, the first one is in the Preface in the book, but the more important reason is to reach out to You if you suffer from anxiety and stress in your personal and professional working life.

You might be thinking, 'are you up on a Sunday morning re-igniting this blog site'?  Of course I am. The idea of Creative Counselling Therapy has been talked about  me since 2010.  Where some lecturers I have come in contact with may not recognise it, I promote it and will continue to promote it in my Projective Writing TM way.

One of my latest clients said something like 'I don't know what you did, but all the pain has gone and it was there for ages ....'.  Well, it's what I've been doing, more so since leaving mainstream AQF (Any Qualified Provider) systems in 2012.

It's all coming out, what is inside of me in books if you want to learn more and improve your own confidence, self-esteem and resilience in a complex universal system of trauma that surrounds us in a terrorised global system.

I'm going to continue what I am good at doing for the good of mankind, as best  I can.

Metaphor:

We meet again, in this space and I know that you now that I know, you want to make a connection. Because making a connection is all we humans want to make, to be understood, isn't it.  I know that understanding is difficult, that's why the world is in a mess and no one seems to be able to sort it out. Man has ruled out God in so many ways but maybe if we look into the creation of all our dreams and hopes we might find the Creator of all things.  It's so good isn't it that we can wake up in the morning and make choices about what we need to do to be happy, because do you know it's a characteristic we were born with.  Let's all tap into that happiness and be grateful for the miracle of life and align our timelines to rid ourselves of darkness and go into the light.



Jennifer Hooper : Sunday 2 April 2017

 Press Release - Psychotherapist , Author, Jennifer Hooper ... read more ...
15 March 2017

How to Deal With Anxiety in book form is due to be released April/May 2017


(c) Jennifer Hooper 2017

I Am Writing

I am writing, about writing,

And for some reason I am fighting

To get it out, without a shout

Because I do have something to say,

I’ve always had something to say

Every day

Just when someone thought

That I was insignificant,

I had something to write

That was magnificent,

The only problem was,

 I was not allowed to show.

What only someone else was

Allowed to know

 

And why was that? Because it

Was a secret, not mine I would add,

But someone else’s that made me sad,

Yet I am now glad,

That I can write, without that fight.

 

(c) Jennifer Hooper Jul 2013

 

Meeting An Author

It seems like it was March 2012 that I last accessed my blog. What have I been doing? I suppose spending time thinking about, 'what am I doing, or what do I intend to do'?  We can spend too much time thinking and the thing that we really want to do like 'writing' is not happening.  Although I have been busy with private client work and surgeries in Wimpole Street.

It was a good job I met Jackie Holder last night at a coaching meeting in Euston to remind me of my inner voice. When I think of all that lovely writing I was doing in 2009, I find myself wondering about keeping something safe, maybe it's keeping myself safe.  Safe from what?  Now that can be a bit of a bomb when I think of my journey of life.

I've visited my blog today because I have something to say about writing, and maybe there is a will inside of me that wants to know how my main childhood toy of writing is today.


 

A different take on Orientation - The Blank Slate

The Blank Slate

Thank goodness for artificial intelligence.
That's right - art- I-ficial, my art,
In using my PC to deny the existence
Of my history.

You may say, ' for what purpose'?
It's a hidden agenda of course, and
A game thats quite complicated.

Even I have phobic disturbances
Working it out.
Not wanting to be ever hurt,
Placing myself in a physical
Space where you can't touch me.

And yet, there is a desire to love
And be loved, to touch and to link.
And I find myself wondering...
What's the secondary gain?
Maybe an influence of kin fitness, or a selfish opportunity to capture your projections instead!

Indeed. So, What has Blame Slate got to do with all of this?

(c) 3.2012

Tavistock Seminar Notes on Arrogance Paper, "Orientation"

Bion seminar Tavistock
11 Feb 2012 - notes by J Hooper

Paper by Bion 'On Arrogance' paper

Projective identification, PI, projecting parts of the unwanted self into the other, that is, leaving a split off, of good or bad feelings in therapist/other- a primitive form of communication ultimately dependent on verbalisation, notably, 'an obstructive force', likened to throwing a tantrum !

PI is really about experiencing powerful feelings and being able to contain them oneself ideally, with the satisfaction of balance.

Originally a maternal functioning, the baby must manage 'tollerance of frustration.' over time.  Whereas, 
thinking is an internal dialogue developing the prototype of linking to objects,  a theory developed from Plato. Therefore, negotiation of 'orientation' is key.   The baby has to orientate himself towards the breast and the mother has to orient towards the baby, forging a link, "a negotiation."  Resulting in a dynamic of moments of orientation an reorientation.  Thus the breast is thus 'home'.  Compared to a situation, like meeting another person who wants to meet you and their capacity to do so. Helping you to recognise their emotional side inside themselves. No meeting of 'orientation' means no meeting of 'the container contained'!

This is likened to creating attunement rather than imposing how you want another person to act - joint monalogue, rather than, invading the child's space - leading and following, without a space to learn!  In such situations, the child is not seen as separate. A rather early chronic situation of a missed encounter with the mother in the context of orientation.  Moreover, emotions might be so powerful that 'thinking' is lost creating an incapacity to orientation 'towards' the mother/other. Therefore, feeling nourished and understood is temporary.

Psychosis is failure of containment , environment, the psychotic personality is confusion.  Hence, containment and orientation go hand in hand. In otherwords a sense of 'I am sad', therapists create a place for patients to talk, a place in an abstract sense - a space to function. What therefore needs to be contained is not projections, but the experience of  DISORIENTATION, even if  orientation might happen or might not happen.

Overall PI is a defence against anxiety. Therefore, it's important to orientate and disorientate as a form of "my getting feedback from the other."  The leader needs the opportunity to be a follower and vice versa. The follower is not actually a follower but a person who gives information.

If the baby is unhappy day after day you need help.  Triangulation need to be there from the word go. Not just mother and baby but the other.

Furthermore, as the client, if you are unable to feel the pain you are also unable to experience the joy of life.

Question: is the lack of orientation something to do with pampering? J Hooper


The Analyst answer:
Pampering is good . However, it can be unhealthy in the sense that the mother wants the baby to become part of the mother, by the mother forcing the prevention of separation - smothering.

End .
Brief seminar notes

Future History For 2012

I'm still working through the Lacan epilogue of reading line by line, 'a complicated type of psychotherapy', a friend Gloria B., seems to remind me, however, I am determined to get my head around it.

In the meantime, I thought that I would indulge in a Change Your Mind coaching seminar for 20 hours over one weekend with plenty of NLP and Timeline Therapy, in January.  Well I was out of it for a week, but realise the power of resilience it has given me now for challenges for 2012 in my future history.  I guess I was setting myself up for getting rid of obstacles much sooner rather than later as they pop up.

I find myself working on the areas of career, business and finance these days, that is, getting myself settled in GP Counselling work and getting my own private practice on track.  You might ask, what's happened to the poetry?  It's very much alive, I can tell you, it's all inside and bursting to come out and I will find a way to integrate it into therapy work as I originally intended on starting this blog, and as a supervisor once emphasised.  In my view you can't beat self expression and there is a modern view it's intertwined for finding words that may be inexpressable verbally.

Now that I am a bit more concious how I spend my time, it's been all about going to beneficial seminars and networks that will help tap into the diamonds that I already have, as an experienced businessman tactfully reminded me of the other day.  Thank you Michael P.

Talking about relevant seminars, it was a delight to attend the Tavistock in February, for a talk entitled "On Arrogance" by Alfred Bion, and to hear the perspective of the speaker on 'orientation', and I may share my notes with you later.

Also at the Institute of Psychiatry in March, there was a lively debate on whether Psychoanalysis was just history, even a comedy, and whether CBT was the preferred evidenced based treatment?  Although there seemed to be no argument about Psychodynamic Therapy!  Thank goodness.  Well I was happy to find a seat in the auditorium that was packed right down the front, but did find myself thinking to ask the question, "I wonder whether the patient would really care, especially if they had a good relationship with their therapist"?  All in all, I find myself going 'neck and neck' with my psychotherapy and coaching training, despite the different view around on what works.

Even though I tend to work as an Integrative and Psychodynamic Counsellor, it's not uncommon to address myself as an Integrated Therapist-Coach, mixing a number of models of therapy to bring about effectiving lasting therapy by break through, time-limited interventions.

Now that you know how my start to the year has been may be I can share my notes "On Arrogance".

Moving Forward - Real, Imagery and Symbolic

Of course I am still here.  Although this may be a virtual space, I am real and in an imaginary way we can connect symbolically through speech or the written word.  Oops, so you know where I am getting this language from, Lacan, the Frenchman.  Yes, that's right, because his lectures seem to be so complicated, it is taking me months rather than weeks I had thought originally to get into the flavour of his writing and his thoughts.  Reading Lacan is mesmerising.  His thoughts are so deep and complex and infused with french phrases that I am reading a few pages at a time and then transported into deep thought of 'what was that all about'?  There are lots of discussions about the real, imagery and the symbolic, and I am not about to try to explain it all today, however, I must say it does give a facinating take on what is actually real?  Further his take on the importance of speech in making a link to an object or person forming something symbolic in our world has made me wonder, what happens if we stop speaking to someone literally or in our imagination?  Perhaps some kind of death.

I wonder what is it that prompts a person to end speech?  Could it be anger, frustration or something like the end of love?  Could it even be that the love was somehow driving one mad as Lacan may suggest? (Lacan, 1953-1954, Book I, Freud's Papers on Techniques).

I'm never that far away you know, either I'm preoccupied with client work or trying to get my head around some complicated theory in psychology that kind of makes sense in my world or has some relation to an experience that I can relate to, that gives me an ah ha expression, even though one cannot say definitively that's the reason of the quest for why.

The question now is who really wants the end of love?  Maybe a dependent person in fear of loosing love one day.  The thing is how certain is consistentency of love in the subjective form that one may idealise it?  Is this a trick question!  In my view, howsoever it feels good, enjoy it while it lasts.

Reference

J. Forrester and J. Miller (1988), The Seminars of Jacques Lacan, Cambridge University Presss, UK

Elachi Indian Cuisine Charity - Mental Health, 4th Oct 2011

It was June 2009 when I last peformed at the Elachi Indian Cuisine Restaurant in West London.  Perform it was, with my early work of "The Shadow" and "Profound Jealousy".  Although, last summer, I was busy completing my counselling diploma at Goldsmiths, University of London and recording my poetry to classical music for fun in the Media Suite.

However, I found myself presented with an Acknowledgement of Service for Divorce letter on the 4th October 2011, early in the morning! What comes after an Acknowlegement of Service for a Divorce?  As a subjective experience,  it was a day down at the Womens Refuge doing some deep therapeutic work with clients, private client work later in the day, then a quick voice exercise rehersal to do some charity work at Elachi Restaurant. And, a profound sense of delight to be invited again, to do a poetry recital from my latest collection.  Should I have been upset?  I could have. 

You see Jennifer Hooper Enterprise is not just about "Jennifer" its about helping people to stay well through creativity and therapy and managing problems.  There I was last night in the company of colleagues, business associates and coucillors who know of my work with the following speech.

"

Good evening everyone and welcome to another exciting charity event with a theme of Mental Health.  It’s so lovely to be here again to recite my work at this event.

So whilst we are here to support this all important theme.  I wonder, “how” is mental health important for all family members?  I hope you will all agree, very important, especially in these economic times.

Nine times out of 10, someone with a mental health issues is a member of a family, no matter how close or distant the relation.  Somehow, I wonder if “proximity” can sometimes exacerbate a persons mental health, if they feel that they are simply not understood or even misunderstood?  It get’s complicated doesn’t it.

It can get so complicated sometimes that they only way that some feel to find a solution is through “violence”.  And yes there is an economic struggle, but what ever happened to the notion of love or falling in love?  I wonder if:

It's all Economics

http://creativecounsellingtherapy.blogspot.co,/2010/08/its-all-ecomonics.html

Having entered a competition last year, it was good to receive a letter from Poetry Rivals that I had been selected and my work would be featured in the Poetry Rivals' Collection 2010 - The Passions of the Poet - a collection of poems for adult writers.

Therefore, how about taking responsibility?  Rather than finding a reason or an excuse to be FIRST?  A condition theory of psychotherapist Alfred Adler.

Superiority - Inferiority Syndrome
http://creativecounsellingtherapy.blogspot.com/2010/07/superiority-inferiority-syndrome.html

Life is a Struggle

http://creativecounsellingtherapy.blogspot.com/2011/04/life-is-struggle.html

I found a poetry book in the Ruislip Library earlier in the year and I was immediately drawn to this poem.  What happens if love ends?

The End of Love - Courtesy Sophie Hannah

http://creativecounsellingtherapy.blogspot.com/2011/02/ruslip-manor-farm-poetry-read-25th-feb.html

 

Having read Sophie's poem I found myself suddenly warding of defence mechanisms, before I got to bed, through humour, and that in itself highlited the agony, ain't it.

We started on the theme of mental health and how important it is for all family members and I wonder if there is something missing when we have a problem?

The way we manage it, and a bit of humour to overcome a situation from a different point of view? 

It’s all about perception, isn’t it and we know that our stories change a little every time we tell it and it can have a different meaning at different stages in our lives.

You’ve all been great and I have loved every minute of this recital for this event, please do enjoy your evening and come and speak to me if you want to know anything more about my private practice or Counselling and Creativity: An Approach to Individuation blog.

Have a great evening and enjoy your fabulous meal. "

I must confess, it was a pleasant and sobering evening for me and my son, the atmosphere relaxing and the food exquisite.  I found myself reflecting on the way home how far I have come in my personal and professional development in how I manage my own problems.

Yours

Editor

It's All Memories

It's all memories

When you kissed me
When you missed me

When you drove me mad
When I felt so sad

When I felt so tired
When I thought you're fired

When I thought we were two
When, in reality you knew too

When I thought the situation dread
When I wished I was dead

When I see your face
When I pray in grace

When I see the games
When I think of frames

You were right about, ' one day
this will all be memories '...

(c). Jennifer Hooper Aug 2011

Promotion At Ethical Awards Ceremony May 2011

Ethical Awards Ceremony Independent Guest, Chocolate Promotion

Domestic Violence Can Happen to Anyone

Live much happier NOW, allow yourself to grow

What is the Ethical Awards Ceremony? Presumably, a ceremony of awards for ethical business best practice on a UK and International scale to businesses whom are friends of the earth in terms of carbon reduction (CR), health, nature and sustainability in difficult economic times. How? Have you ever wondered how much thought goes in to goods and services that factor in causing the least damage to the earth? Yes there are businesses that do pay attention to a human and ethical demand that needs to be taken seriously.

Well I found out about the awards not so long ago and thought I would make my way down there to the awards dinner, for an additional  reason I may add and was very happy to find a warm welcome from other organisations both regionally and internationally, engaged in campaigns against domestic violence, including domestic violence that involves risks to animals.

However, I was just wondering how many businesses have a domestic violence policy, for domestic violence in the workplace and/or at home. That’s right, because it does happen and is happening, isn’t it. There was no room for a negative slant on businesses that are doing well on the agenda. Objectively, that what is being suggested, is to do even better business, by factoring in the wellbeing of employees to include a domestic violence policy if one doesn’t exist.

My purpose of attending the Ethical Awards Ceremony was to bring about an awareness of just that. How does an employer deal with absenteeism due to domestic violence? How will they know that the reason for the absenteeism is because of a domestic or even domestic violence, which could include emotional, verbal, financial, psychological and other types of serious levels of abuse which all fall into this category?

More importantly what does this have to do with ethical business? Well, in my view everything. Domestic violence claims lives every year. What does an employer do if they know that their employee is going through domestic violence, terminate the employment or provide an ethical best practice approach of support with a Domestic Violence Specialist?

All too often victims of domestic violence fear the outcomes of what would happen if they let their employers know that they are experiencing domestic violence, a problem which can all too often trigger wellbeing and mental health issues. I am wondering whether anyone has considered the fear of a victim wondering whether seeking help could cost them their job and livelihood and that of their children, if they have a family and may therefore choose to suffer in silence and possibly still end up losing their job because their employer does not fully understand the plight of the employee and their need for professional guidance or assistance.

Domestic violence is more than what some may think of as physical abuse, it is a wider set of unhealthy behaviours towards a person and an abuse of Human Rights done by a family member or a relative or usually a person in an intimate relationship with the victim, and it can be done by more than one person. Usually the overriding forces are 'power and control' of an individual for varying and different reasons that are both personal and may sometimes involve some type of personal gain. Whatever the reasons, the behaviours often fall into the category of committing a criminal offence.

So how can employers help, and work towards or implement ethical business best practice that fosters the survival of the human race here? Include a domestic violence policy that works, that supports employees who might be experience domestic violence or the after effects of it, or even PTSD. Have a clear protocol when approaching employees about their absenteeism that includes one for employees who may be experiencing domestic violence.

More importantly have a specialist agency that can help such an employee to know what help is out there to help resolve their problem, how to get help and to be safe and how to engage in a wellness recovery program to foster a healthy work-life balance. Children also deserve to have healthy family lives don’t they, so by helping your employees you are helping families and your own business, reducing public spending, creating safer communities and sustaining much happier employees, and of course making more money with less absenteeism! It all makes sense doesn’t it.

If you are an employer or employee who may know someone who has this problem, even if it could be you, do ring me if you think that choosing to be happier makes sense.

Jennifer at the Ethical Corporation, 10th Annual Responsible Business Summit UK 2011,

Ethical Awards Pre-drinks and Dinner May 2011

The Editor




Tel: 0208 868 7287

Mobile 07900 201 241

www.jenniferhoopercounsellor.co.uk

Links

Ethical Corporation Awards 2011
http://www.ethicalcorp.com/awards/
Photos donated by Shirley Kanto Shani - Social Strategy for Business  
http://shirleykantor.blogspot.com/

CUA - Brisbane - Pets in Crisis Community Support
http://www.cua.com.au/wps/wcm/connect/website/home/sitetools/aboutcua/

Veronica Koppelman, Country Manager, Chocol-Ads Ltd
http://www.chocol-ads.com/
Why not let your customers indulge on a chocolate whilst advertising your business?  Marketing your product could never be sweeter .......melt in the mouth chocolate marketing.